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Black actress forced to bring her own hair products, makeup and lighting to set

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HOLLYWOOD, CA—To compensate for a lack of preparation on the part of the film’s production team, sources report that a black actress had no choice on Wednesday but to bring her own hair products, her makeup and lighting equipment on a film set. “Yeah, I’m so sorry, but our stylists say they don’t have your skin tone on their makeup palette, they have no idea what to do with your hair, and they may not have wardrobe options that suit you, so if you could take care of all of this on your own, that would be a huge help,” producer Jim Powell said, apologetically to the African-American woman who had been cast in the film’s second lead role and asking her if she would do it. I didn’t mind rewriting most of her lines, which had been scripted by five white screenwriters unable to capture the way his character might talk.” Also, I spoke to our cinematographer, and you should probably arrive early each day to erect your own lighting rig, so that we have the diffusers or the filters or everything necessary to correctly illuminate the Black. And, uh, I hate to ask this, but we’re shooting on film that’s going to have a hard time capturing you, so could you bring your own camera gear too? As of press time, Hollywood insiders confirmed the film has a budget of $200 million.